Sunday, May 17, 2020
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Meine Liebe Oma,
I awoke from a dream and heard you singing ihr kindelein kommeth, the one German song I learned after all our Christmas time attempts of singing carols. In our letters over the years you referred to yourself as a little mousie, I will always remember the times we have shared both in my childhood where you made my world safe and magical, and my adulthood where you loved, accepted and inspired me. Your strength and humor have always struck my friends, and your presence notable. Your stories are my favorite remembrance of you Oma. We would moan and groan as kids hearing again the story of your childhood again... but a part of me was always entranced by the life you lived - a real life full of adventure, love, loss, longing, and laughter.
You are my first memory of my life, standing beside you and Grandmom in the gift shop of the hospital the day Danny was born. When I was in 1st grade Roxy bit my hand (I still have the star shaped scar) and when I awoke from a nap you had sewn me a fur coat for my Barbie to make me feel better (I did.) The best memories of childhood were playing with my cousins at your old house on Jeremiah, exploring “secret passageways” and grinding cereal in the closets with your old coffee grinder. You let Jessy and I make magic raspberry mush recipes in your kitchen, it seems you were a child development specialist knowing just what kind of activities our creative minds were needing.
In adulthood, you taught me about love and compassion by being loving and compassionate. I learned to listen to the birds, and notice the leaves on the trees. You showed me the linden blossoms and told of the teas you would make in Hungary as a child. Your love of the garden and ways of being with the world around you, with a song on your lips and a smile bubbling out of your face, Is how I wil remember you.
You were proud of us all in your own way, sometimes in ways of disapproval! You didn’t want me to look like a “silly girl” in high school so you let out the hem of the dresses I asked you to alter! You once stitched the chest of a dress so my “bubbies” wouldn’t be showing - when Danny and I giggled about it, this became his nickname that has stuck for decades.
When our lives were unstable as kids, we would visit Oma’s house. You let roxy sleep by my bed, in the old room with the balcony. I was sad and I remember you were the one who made it feel like it was ok to be sad. You sent Roxy to protect me.
When I lived overseas we wrote letters every few weeks. It was part of my ritual, light a candle and sit down to write to Oma. I told you all about my adult life, you recounted your own life feelings and experiences, worries, what was happening with the plants and weather, how you were feeling about dying. You said you were ready to die many years ago. I told you then that you will be so missed, and I hope you stay with us a little longer.
We lost you little by little to dementia over the past few years, I have been mourning you for a long time. You have touched the lives of so many in your long life. I remember when you accidentally lost your car in a rough neighborhood of Trenton, and a kind woman and her child walked you safely back to it. You have been surrounded by angels, maybe your family in heaven. You join them now, with ihr kindelein kommeth in my ears, I can see a little bird, a mousie, a magical angel of a matriarch blessing the ranks. Your big heart thumps in all our chests now, and we will continue your good work in the world... telling stories, singing to the children, feeding hearts through the stomach, finding the humor, and caretaking the beautiful bit of land around each of us.
Love you Oma! Thank you for taking care of us and giving us the opportunity to have the life we have. I am so grateful; you have blessed us in a beautiful way that cannot be undone with your passing.
In big love for you, we let you fly off to the heavens, as you are received by your momma, your Seppl, your Heavenly Father and the choirs of angels surrounding you.
